Letting Ourselves off the Hook

Rest, flexibility and the radical creativity of softness

May 24, 2026

In this issue:

Meditation: Calming Overstimulation
Reflection
Rest Gatherings
Podcast & Writing Links

This is a short guided visualization for sensitive souls who feel the strain & trouble of our world. May it be a soothing invitation to our rested, whole and authentic selves.

If you enjoy it, please share with your community, give it a ❤️ & leave a comment—I love hearing from you ✨

0:00

-12:10

If you haven’t already, please be sure to subscribe to receive access to the free archive—as well as “Three Moon” a speculative e-novella & “The Sea of Abundance” guided meditation.

Paid members receive access to deeper meditations (and other benefits) for only $5/month.

Subscribe or Upgrade

Lately, I have been thinking about the practice of softening the schedule.

To soften the schedule, means to softening our attachment to timelines, to ease our grip on what has to happen, and when. This practice allows more space for the truth of our bodies, our authentic selves, and the ebb and flow of our energy.

Recently, my mother and I made a sudden decision to sell the house—and get it ready for the market in less than a week. Needless to say, this required an intense outpouring of activity and energy, something I would never normally try to tackle with my disability.

I am very proud to say that I navigated through it carefully, in a way that supported my body. But it has still taken time to recover.

dried flowers arranged in the shape of a heart — Photo by Rachel Kelli on Unsplash

For me, recovery is a deep and challenging ebb that limits my circle of activity to the basics and requires me to delay, adapt and sometimes outright cancel other commitments. It often (rather reliably) brings a few close companions along with it: fear, shame and feeling not-enough. The fear that I am letting people—or myself—down. Shame that I cannot function or deliver as I hoped. Dark waves of feeling small and useless.

These are old stories that whisper in a quiet nagging voice, “If you cannot consistently produce, you are failing.”

As a disabled person—especially someone who has lived with an invisible illness since childhood—those stories run deep.

I grew up in a time when very few people understood illnesses like M.E. My limitations were routinely questioned, minimized, or misunderstood. Like many disabled people, I learned very early to override own needs. To disconnect from my truth in order to make other people more comfortable.

And I think many of us do this in different ways, whether we live with disability or not.
We push past our limits. We ignore the signals. We force ourselves into rhythms that are unsustainable because somewhere along the way we learned that our worth is connected to our ability to produce, deliver and perform—no matter the cost.

There must be a softer way.

Not abandoning responsibility. Not disappearing from our commitments. But creating lives and relationships where flexibility, honesty, and humanity are allowed to exist alongside care and accountability.

Where there is room to say:
I need more time.
I need to pause.
I need to renegotiate what is possible for me right now.

There is something profoundly healing in letting ourselves and each other off the hook a little bit.

Because shame exhausts the nervous system. Constant pressure creates static within us. And many of us are carrying far more tension than we realize simply trying to keep up with ideas of who we should be.

To soften the schedule is not giving up.

Sometimes it is the most honest thing we can do.

Sometimes it is how we return to ourselves.
Sometimes it is how we protect our health.
Sometimes it is how we make space for a more sustainable, compassionate, and deeply human way of living.

🌿 A Gentle Invitation

Where in your life might you soften your grip a little?
Is there a timeline, expectation, commitment, or inner pressure that could make room for a bit more flexibility, honesty, or grace?
And perhaps just as importantly: Where might you let someone else off the hook, too?

If you’re enjoying this newsletter, please give it a ❤️ & leave a comment. I love hearing from you. ✨

If you haven’t already, please be sure to subscribe to receive access to the free archive—as well as “Three Moon” a speculative e-novella & “The Sea of Abundance” guided meditation.

Paid members receive access to deeper meditations (and other benefits) for only $5/month.

Subscribe or Upgrade